Friday, June 26, 2009

Minus 1















I am fighting to keep alive



where you used to fit



like a puzzle



piece



of my heart



that slipped out



of the box



on the closet floor



of a house that was sold



for much less it's worth



to someone who



defaulted on a loan



and auctioned off



spied while cleaning



it meant nothing



next to the waded gum



and cotton swabs



in the waste basket bottom



shame



you will wind up in the dump



apart from the box



you belong in....Nobody knows you are gone.



The puzzle with the missing piece



sits on a strangers shelf.



They are none the wiser.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Unconditional

I was talking to someone not to long ago about how messed up I am. That's not to say that there haven't been improvements. Much has changed with me, but there are still grosser emotional handicaps I guess you could call them, that no matter how hard I try to change them, they still remain. This person told me that much of my neurotic crap would just melt away if I was smothered in unconditional love. I thought they might be on to something. After a phone conversation with this same person today, I was meditating on this concept of unconditional love when I realized that God is the only one who could possibly be capable of loving me unconditionally, and I am good with that. I really am, but sometimes...I just want God to have skin.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Reigning On Me


I awoke to rain dancing on my tent

as the thunder rolled it's tongue in my ear

the damp air wrapped it's arms around me

begging me to breath deep the

earthy musk that filled my lungs

as I stretched out before you

in my mind.

I brushed the sleep from my eyes

and I knew...you were with me

Always with me

in this restless heart.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Mistakes


I tripped

on an old pair of shoes today.

laying like the past

in the hallway of my future.

the dirt of their

soles threatening to smudge

the floor that was just wiped clean

and I pondered

how they got there.

I remember the last time I wore them.

They pinched and blistered. They always did.

As if they weren't mine at all

but those of one

with a heart much

smaller.

I thought I had tossed them away

Yet here they are.

I think them ugly now.

The shoes of one not loved

but if I toss them

they will likely appear again

unexpectedly

to trip me in the dark

brightness of my future.

So I will clean them up

and hide them away in a corner

of my heart

Until God makes them useful

again.